I have been swimming competitively since I was around 12 and I am now 16, Ive been on my highschool swim team (as well as club) throughout these 3-4 years and Ive been slowly getting better, for example my old 100 free time was 1:09 but this year I went 1:03. I know that these times are considered bad by most competitive swimmers, but for me this is a huge achievement and Im really happy with my new lower times. However my high school coach, who always used to be happy with my times and cheer me on, is not happy with my times anymore. She says that I have potential to be better than everyone on my team, and by the way she acts I know she thinks that I should be faster than I am. This is stressing me out a lot, I thought it was obvious from dropping 5 seconds that I was improving and that she should be happy, but now suddenly im doing something wrong by not dropping even MORE time? I also got a PR in a meet in 50 free, it was my second time ever getting 28. However when I told her my time she was suprised that it was a PR, she thought that on my club team I would be going 26 or something. she seemed really disappointed that only 28 seconds is a PR for me and it made me feel like I really just suck at this sport. I have never known my coach to act like this, she hasnt ever been disappointed in my times. she used to be happy if I went a 30. again I know that my times are not good I know that 28 is not considered a good 50 free time, but I also feel like Im never going to get to that “good 50 free time” that she thinks I have the potential to get. I DO have physical limitations and im not saying that my limit is 28 or that I will stop working but I think that especially on sprint events like 50 free it is really difficult to drop a significant amount of time since sprint events are so different than other events. As a result I think that because of this I will NEVER get to where she thinks that I should be at now. she doesnt see that im not as strong as she thinks I am and its stressing me out badly that I cant ever live up to whatever time she thinks I should be at. I am 5’4, 120 lbs and born female, I know that people my exact age weight sex and height get better times than me. I know people more disadvantaged get better times than me. But im not those people. no matter how hard I work I wont be those people. A girl who is younger and smaller than me went 24 in a 50 free in practice. I’ve accepted that thats NOT me right now and im ok with that, so WHY isnt my coach ok with it? I wont ever get a 24 in the 50 free. some people just cant do that. they can work their whole lives and not do that. and for me im a junior, I dont have my whole life to please my coach. and I dont think that by the next time I swim in a meet I will be cured of whatever she thinks is keeping me from this weird potential I have for some reason. I KNOW I wont be going 24 in my next 50 free, even if its easy to her and easy to you all, I am not going slow on purpose. Im working really hard to go as fast as I can and im still not magically going 10x faster. that wont happen, I might drop 1 or 2 seconds if im LUCKY I will not ever drop 4. and its not fair that suddenly I have magic potential that means Im not good enough all of a sudden. I dont know why she told me this, WHY did she say I have the potential to be better than the whole team when that’s something I will never achieve before I graduate? Isnt dropping 5 seconds in the 100 free enough? Im not NOT working hard! I dont know what to do. I can just magically get better like that, so I know that I wont get to the potential, so I know I am going to disappoint her like I already did in my last meet. I might even go slower than 28 since it was a PR. its all so discouraging. what is this “potential” that she sees? has anyone elses coach just walked up to them before a meet and said hey I think you have the potential to be faster than you literally ever have been and then get disappointed when that doesn’t happen? what?
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