Saturday, 31 January 2026

“Sh!t my coach said.”

Military folks like to share stories of “sh!t my drill sergeant said” and I figured there has to be some great gems from coaches.

“Swim in it; don’t drink it!” Whenever a swimmer got a lungful of water and came up sputtering. -HS coach

“Breathing is overrated” and “You can breathe when you’re dead.” -Club coach

“If you see a tunnel with light at the end, deceased relatives, or your preferred deity beckoning for you, it’s probably time to come up for a breath.” -USMS coach before some under-overs

“You haven’t lived until you’ve puked through your nose.” -Club coach

“If your voice doesn’t go up by at least two octaves, your paper suit (the racing suit of the 1990s) is too loose.” -HS coach

“I think [one of the sophomores with a severe case of baby face] shaves once a month whether he needs it or not.” -HS Coach

What gems do you have?

submitted by /u/MikeGinnyMD
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